Saying Goodbye

Last week my dad got a call from a family member back East (Rhode Island) saying that my grandmother was very ill and the doctors saw no hope in her getting better. Her health has been on again/off again for quite some time. Last night, at 10:45pm eastern time, my grandmother passed away. Im not sure how I feel about it right now. Part of me wants to deny that this has happened. I remind myself that, while we were growing up, we were never that close to her. I remember she came and visited us kids (me and my 5 siblings) once a week bearing gifts of peanuts, but that is about all I can remember other than the various pictures I've seen of them with us at a lake. The other part of me feels a large amount of grief for the loss. I have a huge lump in my throat that won't go away. I never had the chance to introduce my kids to her. They will never know who my grandmother was. I knew she was dying but it was easier to put it out of my mind. I really didn't think it would affect me in this way...