Thanksgiving Feast

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven,
removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the
turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in
the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Okay, so this didn't REALLY happen to MY family, but I thought it was pretty funny and it sounded like something my family would do to one of us kids...

"but I didn't"

I came across this email I had sent to a friend of mine and realized I had never blogged this. This actually happened a year ago but its too good not to share...


Some of you may laugh, and some of you may...well...it may turn your stomach (if you are squeemish) but regardless, if you have kids of your own, or if you know my kids well, you are sure to be able to relate on some level. So here it goes...

Im sitting here at my computer, checking my email and quietly eating my lunch while my 2 boys are watching Aladdin (giving me a few moments of sanity) when I hear my 3 year old cough. Odd, I thought, wonder if hes getting a cold. I look over to see him sticking his fingers down his throat. Typical boy, I thought, trying to make himself throw up (he is fascinated by bodily functions like gagging and burping as well as a few others i wont mention).

Now lately my 3 yr old has been pretending to be sick because he really likes to eat vitamin Cs. So im thinking hes doing this to make me think hes sick...right??? WRONG....as I am watching him, he proceeds to throw up...all over my freshly shampooed carpet. I yell at him to stop sticking his fingers down his throat as I grab the nearest towel...trying to save my carpet. I make it just in time to catch the first "blow" in the very small wash cloth in my hand. I tell him to walk to the kitchen...well, run is more like it. We make it just in time to grab another towel for the second "blow"...and Lo and Behold...there it was, a brand new shiny penny. He looks at me with this sheepish grin while I, of course, reprimand him about putting things in his mouth and how he could choke...he looks at me and says "BUT I DIDN'T" .

sometimes I dont think I will ever survive being a mom. Oh, and by the way, my 3 yr old is just fine. He went back to watching Aladdin with his older brother, giving me enough time to sit here and tell you all this story and try to finish my lunch...i think i may have lost my appetite though...

Breast or Bottle Fed??

OK so once again I haven't been blogging. Sorry all, but this summer has me hopping. I have been super busy. Anyways, in the mean time, while ya'll are waiting for me to return to blog land....heres a little "funny" someone emailed me...Hope it gives you a laugh too...


Breast or Bottle Fed??

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" she replied.

Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."